“I’ll be back.”
I don’t just love him though. I love him the most. I honestly could not imagine my life without him. I’ve loved Kim Heechul ever since the first moment I say him. I can’t tell you what runs through my head when I see him smiling or laughing or crying or yelling. He means the world to me. I would take a bullet for him. I honestly would.
I want to be beside him all the time. I want to be able to hold his hand and kiss his cheek and cuddle with him on the couch while watching tv. I want that kind of a relationship with him. I want to be his daughter or little sister or best friend. I want to be able to hold him when he cries and laugh at him when he’s drunk and pinch his cheek when he’s being cute and get beat up for it. I want to meet him so I can tell him how much I love him. I want him to know that I would do anything for him. I want to talk to him and play the piano when he sings and teach him how to dance. I want my life to mean something to him.
I love him more than anything. I’ve never felt this way about someone I’ve never met before. He is my everything. Sometimes I wish I was a boy so I could maybe, just maybe, be in Super Junior. I would work until I bled. I would do anything I was told, I would suffer the pain of being overworked and never having a break because he would be there with me. I could survive anything if he was beside me.
I want him to find love. I want him to find happiness. I want him to smile and laugh. I want his life to be everything he ever dreamed. I want to sit in the front row as his fiancée is walked down the isle. I want to stand by him in everything. I want to be his shoulder to cry on. I know I’m wishing on shooting stars here, but I honestly just want him to be happy and I would do anything to make that happen.
I love Kim Heechul. I really, really do.
Now he’s going to the army. I feel like I want to cry but I won’t let myself. Because he’s not leaving. He’s taking a very long vacation. That’s how I force myself to look at it. And even if he did leave Super Junior, which I pray to god he never will, I will never stop loving him. We will never stop loving him.
He asked us not to wait for him. But to love him when he returned. I will wait for you Kim Heechul. Even if you’ve asked me not to. I will love you now, tomorrow, 2 years from now, for the rest of my life.
You are my Big Space Star and I will always love you.
I swore the next one would be Taemin.
Next is either Jonghyun or Taemin, and I can’t wait to see which one it is.